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Apr. 16th, 2009

(no subject)

Fires of Pompeii:



Turn Left:


Midnight:

Jul. 20th, 2008

Gimme Your Stuff List

My list for the Cultural Exchange site, Gimme Your Stuff. ^^

What I can send:
Clothing
DVDs
CDs
Magazines
Books
Old Bay Spice/ Crab Chips (I am, after all, a Marylander)
Candy
Toys/Plushies
Snack Food
Maryland Cultural Items (which mostly consist of items with images of crabs saying "I'm crabby")
Postcards
Coins

Things I'd like to receive:
Clothing
CDs
Toys/Plushies
Magazines
Books
Candy
Snackfood
Cultural Items
Postcards
Coins

Gee... XD The list was the same.

Jul. 8th, 2008

Dictionary Definition

ig·no·rance Audio Help /ˈɪgnərəns/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ig-ner-uhns] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information, etc.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME < L ignōrantia. See ignore, -ance]
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Apr. 10th, 2008

At a loss

So yesterday Amanda sent me home early. >> I worked a total of 1 and a half hours. XD Making the big bucks. I'm not sure if she sent me home because we had too many people or because I had a bad attitude..but I'm not going to ask questions. >< I did get to go home early, something I won't get tonight with our inspector coming tomorrow.

And without going over what happened to me in Astronomy yesterday again.. I'm just going to say that I emailed the teacher about my grades. :/ Asked for extra credit.

It's so nice out today... 70 something. I hope it stays that way for DC tomorrow. We plan to hit up the Zoo and the Cherry Blossoms so cross your fingers for no rain.

===

In other news, I find this very disturbing. First off, it's worrying for our economy because MD still relies heavily on what we can catch in the bay, meaning...crabs=profit. The limit on how much people can catch will put a lot of crabbers out of jobs which is worrying in itself. It'll hurt MD as a whole too..

And then you have to worry about the crabs. MD crabs are amazing (and delicious) and their numbers are dwindling in dangerously low numbers..It's unsettling. :/ Either way, it's a lose/lose situation.
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Apr. 9th, 2008

I need a hug.

I just want someone to tell me that all the 'college' crap I'm going through at FCC is going to be worth it because right now the only thing it's giving me is depression. I want to go crawl in a hole and die.

In other news... here's the link of the day. The full text to Oh the Places You'll Go! Since it normally has the ability to make me feel better.

Read

Apr. 8th, 2008

Full Bloom

So the cherry blossoms are in full bloom here and in DC. I love this time of year, with all the pink and white flowers. Especially on a windy day and the petals swirl around in the skyyyy... it reminds me of a Disney movie because ha, I'm just that breed of dork.

And on that note, the DC Cherry Blossom Festival= <3. Did you know that the cherry blossoms were a gift from Japan in 1912 meant to commemorate peace between the countries? And it has, for the most part. Every year, we thank them for their gift by giving a little something back; Japanese Horticulturists take cuttings from the trees and taken them back to Japan to replant. The act of giving comes full circle.




How gorgeous is that? I plan to go this Friday so hopefully it won't rain.

Apr. 7th, 2008

Rantalicious

Warning: This post is angry, frustrated and likely makes no sense.

So I visited Salisbury University on Friday and fell in love. Gorgeous campus, three hours from home, half an hour from the beach, tons going on on Campus...just an amazing place. Suffice to say, I fell in love. Now, I've been adamantly against going to an in state school until this point because I feel I need out, but I think Salisbury is juuust far enough to meet my needs. Instate school or not, I definitely would have no problem transferring there. And it's small, which is nice, not really bigger than my community college is.

And as we were driving home from Salisbury that afternoon, a thought crossed my mind. I've still got another year left here at FCC and that really, really depresses me. Don't get me wrong, I love Maryland and I love Frederick. I mean, this is where I grew up...but here it seems like time has stood still. Sure, I guess you could say I'm a freshman in college but if you ask me, community college has no freshman or sophomores, etc. I'm in thirteenth grade, so to speak. This school just feels like more high school.

I'm doing the same things I was doing in high school; I'm working the same job, sharing the same room with my sister, interested in the same stuff... nothing has changed. I'm stuck here, frozen in 'Senior Year 2007' while everyone else has gone on to bigger and better things. I want to be there. I want to do that too... but I can't because, haha, I'm still stuck right here in Frederick, Maryland for a whole 'nother glorious school year. Oh joy.

I know I shouldn't feel this way but I DO and I can't help it. I know that I just need to take two steps back, take a deep breath and then go on with my life. I mean...going to a community college isn't bad, I guess. I get to save money so I won't be horribly, completely in debt when I graduate. My school is $3000 a year compared to the $15000 it would be at Salisbury. I can live at home, eat at home...all fine and dandy things for a broke college student. I can work, I've had my job for three years now, I know I'll have it for a while. I should be happy... really, it's not that bad a deal. But I'm NOT and my brain keeps telling me "Haha, Ashleigh, you loser, listen to Billy Joel."

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Is it sad that that song is one of the only things that can cheer me up these days? It's almost like...saying there is hope because, to me, lately it seems there really isn't. The fact that I'm paying for college myself is looming over my head. I know I'll have debt, that's inevitable, but the more it's pointed out to me, the more I wonder whether or not it's really worth it. But before anyone goes all 'No, Ashleigh! Go to college!' I'll say, I'm with you, I want to go to college. I'm highly competitive, I don't like people having an edge over me... but if I won't be able to even make the basic cost of living because of my debts...

While we're on the subject of competitiveness...My high school didn't prepare me for college at all. I mean, look back a few entries and you'll find an essay I wrote for the AP Lang and Comp prep exam and you'll see how damn proud of it I was. I look at that now and I laugh. I've come so far since then. I finished English 101 last semester with a 98 on my BIG paper. I was proud of myself, because that was a tough grading professor. And this semester, I got a 100 on my first paper... and I'm told that Dr.Kerr grades tougher than K-Trig.

And I wasn't prepared... there was nothing my high school did that made me even semi feel prepared. I can take AP classes, I can take honors classes...but what good does that do me when I'm up against, oh, kids from St. John's or New Life or the International and French immersion schools in the area... no good, let me tell you. The only thing I have going for me is a food many extracurriculars and a whole slew of community service...which was required of Frederick County Public Schools, so if you think about it, it really isn't that spectacular.

But alas, I've lost my point. Where was I? Oh yes, stuck in Frederick and being depressed about it. People are going on, moving on and having those life experiences and where am I? Sitting on my couch, on my laptop... wishing I was there with them. It's getting to be the tail end of spring semester and pretty soon people will be coming home from their 'real' schools. And then, just like that, summer will be over and they'll be going back to their 'real' schools while I settle in for one more year doing the same stuff, in thirteenth grade.

Last year when all my friends were leaving I started getting really depressed. I was withdrawn... snappy, mean... I just hated life and I hated what was happening to me. I didn't want to be left behind but I was and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. There's a passage from Chicken Soup for the College soul that says it perfectly.

"It seemed to come on like the flu. Suddenly, out of nowhere,everyone was talking about college. Lunchtime discussions changed from who's dating whom into who's going to what college and who did or did not get accepted. And just like the flu leaves its victims feeling awful and helpless, such was the case for this new fascinating subject and me.

I don't clearly remember the actual conversations. I do, however,remember why I wasn't interested in all this "college talk." We didn't have enough money for me to go to a real college. I would begin my college years at a junior college. This was the final word and I had accepted it. I didn't even mind terribly. I just wished everyone would stop talking about this university and that Ivy League school.

The truth is, I was jealous. I had worked so hard to get good grades in school and for what? Each time I found out someone else I knew had just been accepted to the college of their dreams I would turn a deeper shade of green. I didn't like feeling this way, but I couldn't help it.It felt like they were going to jump ahead of me. They were going to have the big life experiences that turn a teenager into an adult and I was going to get left behind."

That's exactly how I feel and every time someone else leaves or something of the sort, I just want to go crawl in a hole and die...because that's never going to be me. College changes people, high school doesn't. Community college...doesn't. How is going to community college any different from the life I've been living for the past four years. I'm ready to get out, I'm ready to escape...but I CAN'T.

And don't even get me started on what people say to me and think of me when I tell them that I go to a community college. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find a job." "You can improve your grades there." "Sorry none of the other schools accepted you." And even a "Well, you're IQ just couldn't cut it, I guess." Damn it, I may brush it off at the time but in the words of the great warthog Pumba from The Lion King "I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thickskinned." Those words HURT. A LOT. And no one even bloody cares because HA, in a suburban area, all people care about is whose kid is going to what big name real, four year university. The pricier the better, too. If someone ends up at a community college, then they must be an absolute moron.

Like, haha, me.

But I've bitched and moaned and groaned and been too hard on myself, I know.

I just needed to vent.

And I'll leave you all with this letter I wrote to a community college dean who has a blog, his response and the responses of the readers. It did make me feel a bit better at the time, but that feeling has long since passed.

http://suburbdad.blogspot.com/2007/08/ask-administrator-do-cc-students-miss.html

I don't want to be left behind... but what other choice do I have.? :/
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Mar. 23rd, 2008

Alas...

I screwed up again.

Badly.

I don't think things will get better this time.

And it scares me. 9.9

Mar. 10th, 2008

What a dick.

So Sunday was a mess. And we're going to start at the beginning.

I came in earlier than scheduled because Christian was a moron who apparently went to jail on a failure to appear rape charge and they were short-staffed in the morning. Well, as soon as I got there, Danielle went to the back to straighten up stuff with the schedule, leaving me and the new guy Brandon in the kiosk to handle the store.

Well, we were fine for like half an hour and then all of a sudden, as can be expected on a weekend, we got SLAMMED. So I called the back room to get Danielle back up front and there was no answer. For the next half an hour, I kept trying her off and on thinking that maybe she was on the phone with cooperate or something but it was to no avail. STILL no answer. I take a look at the line and it stretched past two stores, two and a half if you count the front of our kiosk and that's when I realized we were screwed. Brandon was new, he was slow and two people in the store couldn't handle the line.

And that's when I realize that it's 1.05 and Jonny was five minutes late. So I called him up and asked him where he was and the conversation proceeded like such.

Me: Jonny, where are you?
Jonny: I'm not due in until 1.30.
Me: No, you're supposed to be in at 1.
Jonny: Are you sure? The schedule says 1.30.
Me: No, it's definitely one. And look, we're really slammed. It's only me and Brandon in the store and I can't get a hold of Danielle in the back and we have a huge line...We need you in as soon as possible.
Jonny: Well, I'm at McDonald's eating so I'll be there in 10 or 15 minutes.

Now, keep in mind that by this point, he's already ten minutes late.

So when my boss finally comes up, I tell her what he said and she's absolutely LIVID. She went on and on about how he was so disrespectful and finally when he does show up, it's forty five minutes late and we're still slammed because even with Danielle up there, we're still short-handed by two people. First mistake he makes is trying to convince Danielle that the schedule was wrong and he was right or the schedule had been changed and that's where you first start to realize he's a moron. Hello! She MAKES the schedule, she knows who is on it and when!

So when Carissa comes in, I clock out and go on break and hang out with Amanda for half an hour and she absolutely couldn't believe what he had done. When I got back from break, Danielle took hers and then sent him and while he was gone, I found out that she had confronted him about it and he'd manage to piss her off even more. Never in the almost three years I've worked there have I ever seen Danielle that mad.

He apparently tried to tell her that I lied to her and was making it all up, which is stupid because what reason do I have to lie about that? I didn't have to cover my butt or bail myself out of anything. She told him that it was apparent that he didn't care for the job and that he was being disrespectful to her and all this stuff and then she gets really close to me and whispers "If we weren't so short-staffed, I would have fired him before he even clocked in." And that is absolutely amazing because we've been having issues with Jonny ever since he started using his ex-girlfriend for sex.

And when he comes back from break, it's more than apparent he's pouting because, boohoo, the little baby got in trouble.

Well, later that afternoon, I took a dog tray out of the oven and set it on the cooling rack to, well, cool and Jonny watched me put it there. Next thing I know, he's picking up the tray and throwing it back down, yelling 'Ow!' because DUH, metal that comes out of a 600 degree oven is hot. He runs over to the sink and starts running it under cold water and stands there for twenty minutes despite us having a huge long line. Yeah, I understand that he needed to doctor the hand but I've had worse burns and kept going.

So then I hear him say "Danielle, I can't do dishes the hot water hurts my hand." And he starts doing drinks but decides he can't do that either and asks Danielle to go home. She just stares at him all open-mouthed because we're already short one person, STILL BUSY and he wants to leave early. Legally, she can't deny him that so when Carissa clocks back in, Jonny clocks in and goes home, leaving us down too people and so behind.

I turn to Danielle once he's gone and start bitching and moaning about how he's such a pansy. My first year there, I grabbed a hot tray out of the oven, flipped it and put it back on the cooling rack before I realized that I didn't have an oven mitt. The burn was so bad that I killed all the nerves in my hand and I still, two years later, don't have full feeling back in that hand. I didn't whine about it then, I don't whine about it now.

So Danielle and I let the other two there leave at six when they're scheduled to get off, though one guy forgot to speak up about the fact that he was actually supposed to leave at 5 and ends up staying the extra hour. We don't actually get out of the mall until 7 and the store looks horrible but at that point we don't care and go home.

About an hour later, I get a call from Danielle saying that Jonny left a message on her cell phone giving her his two weeks. 8D How awesome is that?

He's such a dick.

Amanda said she wants to get her boyfriend to beat him up. >> I told Byron that if he did, I'd pay him to see it.

Mar. 1st, 2008

Here we go again.

Why can't I bloody get things right with her? Lately it seems that every time I turn around, I'm saying or doing something wrong and pissing her off. Sometimes, it's an accident, like my internet not working because it's a well known fact that my internet sucks but... I still somehow managed to elicit a response like "I'm so fucking mad at you right now, I don't even know why anymore."

And you know what? It HURTS. I don't have a lot friends, at least not a lot of ones I talk to on the phone like I do with her. And it SCARES me that I just can't make her happy anymore. That I can only piss her off...

And what happens when we're finally together and what if we can't STAND to be around each other?

We're so different... they say opposites attract, but in this case it seems that they're only repelling.
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Feb. 25th, 2008

Emeril

-.- He sold out to Martha Stewart and now she pretty much owns him.

This saddens me. I really liked Emeril.

At least I still have Wolfgang Puck. *nod*
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Feb. 23rd, 2008

Banner and "Count"

So the banner that was on the top of my friend's page page really pissed me off. >> It's about aggressive dogs and training them and what was the dog in the banner? None other than a pit bull. Damn stereotypes.

And I'm working on a new project! A comic called "Count" set on a post-apocalyptic Earth. Humans have been completely wiped out, and now the descendants of laboratory test animals inhabit the planet. I've sketched a few pages in Religion class and I'm totally excited about this.

Two bad I don't draw well/colour good. Loooolz.
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I don't even know anymore.

So yeah. Short story is I'm freaking lonely. -.- Now that Amanda got her own apartment and got back together with her ex and Soren can't drive (not to mention that he lives forty-fives minutes away)I'm lonely. If I'm not at work, at school, or asleep, I can pretty much guarantee that I'll be on the computer? Sad, no? I mean, it's not that I really need actual people, lolz, but I don't get to talk to Mary as much anymore and it really makes me sad. I neeeeed people in some form or another but I'm trying really hard to stop that whole 'depression when she can't talk/leaves' thing. She can't be with me all the time, she has a life, she has friends, but she's the only one I really talk to. Ah well. I'll get over it.

And next up in the Ashleigh bitchfest is this whole college thing. I'm really starting to flip out because I have NO.IDEA. What to do. Sure, I have this semester and then a whole academic year to finish but according to my stupid college, I have to have a transfer school picked out like, lolz, NOW and I'm clueless. Mom wants me to stay close, especially since it makes visiting schools a lot easier but I don't want to live at home for the next for years. I really, really don't. I understand that yeah, I'd save money but I really need to get out of my house. Besides, it seems that all the schools I'm looking at aren't close. Gannon is five hours away, University of Alabama is probably like 11... possibly University of Wisconsin, Emory or University of Tennessee. I'll probably end up at Hood though. And yeah, beautiful school but I REALLY don't want to go here. Same with the Mount and University of Maryland (though if worse came to worse, I guess I could put up with the College Park campus.)

Yeah. -.- I really hate my life right now.

And don't even get me started on the lack of financial aid for me.

Feb. 11th, 2008

Pit Bull Book Quotes 1

"The APBT will surprise you. It doesn't matter if you have years of experience with dogs or have never owned a dog before; the APBT will surprise you. Because of the many highly derogatory things that have been said and printed about this breed, the REAL APBT will surprise you."

"An old English proverb seems to fit the American Pit Bull Terrier, "Give a dog a bad name, and hang him. The virtues of the dog are his own, his vices, those of his master."

The Pit Bull Song by W.W. Schnipp

I stopped at a little roadside cafe
in a new town hopin' to change my luck
I heard a small boy holler at me
as he climbed upon my truck
He said mister, is that a Pit Bull
that's riding up front with you?
My mother says they're real mean dogs
mister, is that true?
I said I suppose Pit Bulls can be mean
but that's not how this one gets his kicks
this Pit Bull is a very smart dog
and he's too busy doing tricks
Then he asks, mister, mister, can I pet him?
I said what would your mother say?
why I'll even have him do some tricks
if your mother says it's OK
When the boy brought his mother
I nearly fainted in the street
she had to be the most beautiful woman
that a man could hope to meet
So I whispered to Rocky, my Pit Bull
put on the best show of your life
I bet she's a single mother
and I bet I can make her my wife
Rocky soared through the air catching Frisbees
did a flip, he climbed a tree
by the time Rocky pulled the truck with his teeth
the boy's mother was holding hands with me
Now there's a cottage in the country
it's the place we all reside
I wouldn't have a wife and boy that calls be dad
If I didn't have that Pit Bull by my side.

"An APBT Scenario

The little girl, about four years old, was playing in the backyard of her suburban Florida home. She had carefully arranged her dolls for a tea party. Her mother was watching her out of the kitchen window. So intent was the child in her pretending that she sensed nothing amiss, no danger.

In this same suburb, two or three houses up the street, lived a powerful American Pit Bull Terrier. Seven years old, a muscular 45 pounds, he was covered with scares from his years as a fighting dog. Retired from the pit, the dog lived his life in his new home in comfort. At times, this pit veteran would escape from his backyard, and today was just such a time.

The dog jumped up on an outdoor drill and from there he cleared the fence. As he walked down the street, he saw the movement from the little girl's backyard and moved in that direction. The child didn't see him enter her yard. She didn't see him fixate on her. She didn't see the intent look in his eye. She didn't see him when he started his charge toward her.

The child's mother saw the dog hurtling toward her daughter, but she didn't have time to call out. The little girl looked up and saw the rapidly approaching dog. She screamed as the animal leaped toward her. The dog jumped over the little girl and landed squarely atop a large rattlesnake coiled only a few feet away. Though bitten by the rattler, the dog easily killed the snake and vigorously shook the still-writhing body.

The child's mother ran to gather up her crying child and the dog dropped the snake and ran over to the little girl and began covering her face with licks of affection. The child's mother arrived and saw the child, the dog, and the twitching snake. She embraced the child and the dog, an old family friend."

"This book is not about the "pit bull." This book is about the American Pit Bull Terrier. The two are NOT the same. "Pit bulls" can be almost anything. They can be poorly bred American Staffordshire Terriers, poorly bred APBTs, mixed dogs of some bull breed heritage, or just short-haired and thickset mongrels with an attitude. This book is about a great and misunderstood American canine treasure, a breed of dog that has conquered more obstacles than any other breed of dog in the history of the human-canine relationship. It is about a breed many consider the best all-around dog to ever exist, a breed with a long and distinguished history as one of the gentlest and most versatile of family pets, the bravest of war dogs, and the staunchest defenders of children. This book, without a hint of apology, is about the American Pit Bull Terrier."

"The APBT is a dog of extremes. It is extremely strong, extremely powerful, and extremely loyal. It evokes extreme reactions, positive AND negative."

"As serious students of dogs, breed experts and anyone who has spent any length of time with a good APBT will readily testify that this breed, properly bred and properly socialized, is THE LEAST LIKELY OF ALL BREEDS TO BIT A HUMAN BEING!"

"Before "pit bull hysteria" started, stories about great APBTs were common."

"...pound for pound, the APBT is the strongest dog in the world..."

"To an APBT, and to similar dog breeds and types, fighting can be like alcohol to an alcoholic or drugs to an addict. Temperance is always recommended, and abstinence is desired..."

"A number of breeds have been forced to wear the unjust mantle of "canine Frankenstein." Great Danes, now one of the mildest of dogs, once wore it. Malamutes, German Shepherd Dogs, Dobermans, and Akitas have worn it. Wolf-dog hybrids, Rottweilers, and Chow Chows still sometimes wear it. But no breed of dog in history has ever been loaded down with as much terribly evil baggage as has the APBT."

"Unfortunately, a class of "killer dogs" developed in the public menality from their poor reporting. Suddenly, as in a self-fulfilling prophecy, every dog became a "pit bull" attack. Boxers, yellow Labs, and all short-haired, medium sized mongrels were transformed into "pit bulls" and the equally veg, "pit bull-mixes."

"American Staffordshire Terriers, Staffordshire Bull Terriers, Butt Terriers, Boxers, Bull Mastiffs, and other breeds suffered right along with the APBT. The public believed what they heard or read about this new canine scourge, a sort of Attila the Hound. A WAR OF THE WORLDS mentality took over as the headlines on the evening news read: "Two pit bulls terrorize small town" or "Policeman savaged by pit bull.""

"Let us observe the APBT as if we had never heard of or seen the breed before. This breed may look quite different if we view it without any preconceived attitudes and we would probably herald it as the next wonder dog. There are many reasons that this "new" breed would gain immediate positive acceptance:
*It has a medium-sized, low-maintenance coat, and is remarkably hardy.
*It is athletic, capable of many versatile roles and activities.
*It has an eye-catching, sturdy frame, available in many color and size variations.
*It is highly intelligent and very trainable, an obedience/agility/Schutzhund candidate.
*It is courageous and protective.
*It is excellent with adults and children.
*It is loyal, with lots of personality, and often quite clownish.
*Its ears can be cropped or left natural; the visual effect is much the same either way.
*It is not prone to many inheritable health problems or conditions.
*It is an excellent companion and pet.
*It is a good traveler, easily adaptable to most lifestyles and living arrangements.
*It has a strikingly forceful, yet attractive appearance, a definite crime deterrent.
*It is physically tough, with some hunting dog potential.
*It has a long and distinguished record as a movie star, as a war dog, and as a therapy dog.
*It is active enough for the grand-children, yet reserved enough for the grandparents.
There are many more attributes of this breed that could be added to the list. A simple truth exists: If the APBT was to suddenly come onto the canine scene, it would be widely accept and would be acclaimed as the next great dog breed."

"Bogey-Dog"

"This breed has the misfortune to have both "pit" and "bull" in its name."

"The APBT suffers because of those look-alike and sound-alike dogs that do bad things. The real villains are the criminal types who have produced dogs that should never have been born."

9.9

I'm so fed up with all this college crap. I didn't have to look and apply last time I don't know what I'm doing now. 9.9

I'm so clueless.

Feb. 4th, 2008

Less than three

God, I love her so much. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her.

She truly means the world to me.

I hope she can see that.
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Feb. 2nd, 2008

If you fall off a bicycle, get on a horse.

So the burn I have across my face is healing though it's going to leave a scar. >> Kinda sad. If I had an identical one on the other cheek I'd look like the Joker!

And I went through and fixed all my tags. >< Yay me. ^^

Today is, and get this, not only the Chinese New Year Celebration at the mall but Free Pretzel Day at all Auntie Anne's. I'm in for a fun-filled eight hours today.

And now let me address this whole TDF thing.

The reason I got so worked up over people questioning, or redoing, or requesting redoes of my analyses is because that's really all I feel I have on TDF sometimes. I'm one of the older people I guess, no where near a vet though, and yet I feel like few people know me. :/ My daemon isn't talkative or sarcastic, people who came after me far surpass me in posts. I'm not trying to get pity here. >< Because I know people love teh Ash (or I assume. XD)But anyway, yeah, I don't want that taken from me...so I'm trying hard to make it stay. >< Pages long master analysis for each breed on the list. We'll see how I juggle this with work and school. 8D Up next, Slammin' Shikoku.

I found out what happened with Meg's poster. Apparently, the ebay link ordered two different posters so they didn't know which to send... >> so they sent neither. I called them and got it all worked out though and this was a week ago so hopefully it's on its way. *nod* I just hope its the right one.

Aaaaand, I'm still lonely. :/ Is it bad to be jealous of Mary's roommates? They're there with her all the time, she likes them a lot, well...for the most part, and what do I have? I can IM her... occasionally talk to her on the phone or watch her on webcam but that's not the same. Damn, this long distance friendship thing is TORTURE. I wish I had more friends here so I didn't feel so left out and lonely. :/ And damn, I'm starting to feel guilty for feeling this way.

I think I like Mair's idea for a pity jar. >> Steve and I will be jar buddies.

Jan. 26th, 2008

This message brought to you by a pitbull with aids!

So first up is the fact that one of my managers somehow managed to swing a 600 degree metal tray into my face and now I have a lovely burn across my cheek. >>

And I start school Monday. Fun semester I have planned. >> English 102H (in place of Public Speaking), World Religions, Intro to Computers and Information Processing (Woot. x.x), Astronomy, Russian (totally rad) and Fencing (which is my easy class since I've been doing this for ages.) I really don't want to go back to school because I'm liking my 5 days a week at work. >> I can almost make enough money to pay the $570 a month I owe my school.

And I bought myself a Pit Bull book! Everytime I start feeling non-pittish I open the book and am filled with all kind of joy and reassurance. They have some absolutely amazing quotes that I'll share in a later entry but yes! Excitement!

What's also exciting is that Prince Caspian and Penelope come out next month! Looking forward to that.

And don't even get me started on some of the TDFnoobs. x.x Specially the little brats who redo my analyses or tell me they suck. 9.9 Makes me sad.

And I think I'm going to go camping in NC this summer and meet up with Mary there. *nod* Easier for her, and not a hellishly long drive for me.

And I'm out.

Wait, I lied, one last note. The Gag Order on the Vick case has been lifted and we finally learn what happened to the dogs. I urge everyone to go to www.badrap.com and check it out.
Tags: ,

Dec. 29th, 2007

Make it go away.

Someone please make this go away. I'm so depressed that I don't know how I'll live with myself.

The trip fell through at the last minute.

I let me down. I'm crushed.

But worse, I let her down. She tried to be strong but I've known her long enough to see past the mask.

I just want to be happy again.
Tags:

Dec. 19th, 2007

Carol's Test

Your Score: The Honest Soul.
You scored -7 Extroversion, -13 Sensitivity, and 17 Openness!




You are a talkative, open kind of person. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you trust people not to break it. In a way, you are as honest and trusting as a child. You are comfortable with who you are and have a strong sense of self, but you are also a little sensitive. Hurtful remarks, especially from people whose opinion you value, have the power to wound you terribly.

You tend to be open about your thoughts and opinions, and you find it difficult to hide your emotions from people. You like to share your thoughts, opinions, and emotions with people, and to hear theirs in return. When someone disagrees with you or offends you, you will take them up on it, whether they are friends or strangers. You don't mind a friendly debate, but become upset when things get hostile. You wish that people wouldn't take everything so personally, but simply think calmly about things.

You have a close knit group of friends and family for whom you would sacrifice almost anything. You don't like big parties full of strangers - you would rather spend your time with the people whom you really care about. You need a private spot where you can retreat when the world gets to be too much, but you want to be able to emerge from your "den" and find your loved ones there to heap love and affection upon you.

Your daemon would represent your loving, open nature, and he or she would probably spend a lot of time encouraging you to be independent and to do the right thing.

Suggested forms: Dog, Otter, Marmoset, Saw-Whet Owl, Songbird, Chinchilla.
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on Extroversion

You scored higher than 0% on Sensitivity

You scored higher than 50% on Openness



Well, that got me right. 8D *has a pitbull daemon*

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